Do What Makes Your Heart Sing

My heart jumped at the news. A good friend could hardly contain her excitement about a workshop she wanted to attend and had asked me if I wanted to go, too. Then my chest registered the familiar heavy weight of anxiety. I didn't have the money for it and felt the conflict between wanting to go and my bank account. How many of us have felt the same way?

The thing about money is we know how much of it we need to be able to live in our homes, buy food, wear clothing, drive a car, and pay our water, heat and telephone bills. Those are the basics for most of us. I can pay for those but there's not much left over.

I can hear your minds thinking, "What about poverty? There's a homeless crisis in our country. We should feel grateful for whatever we have." Those statements are all true but the subjects I'd like to explore today are attitudes and possibilities. (See posts Hope, Love & Tea and The Heart of Listening.)

When we work hard and the only thing we can afford are those basics, we start to feel discontented. We want to have fun, read books, go to a movie, and do things with our friends. When we have fun, we like to eat and drink, and play with our toys. If we think we can't afford to do some of those fun things we start to feel hard done by for having to work so hard to just exist. We start thinking we deserve more.

I used to think that way, but not anymore. There is no 'hard done by' feeling when we're doing what we love to do every day. On the other hand, our expectations and entitlement attitudes surface when we think we can't do what we want when we want.

When I was a realtor, I spoke regularly with buyers about priorities. The vision many had for their first home included the must haves: granite counter tops and new appliances in the kitchen, full master bathroom off a large master bedroom, large fenced back yard, and a garage all in their budget, of course. Inevitably homes with all those amenities were not in their price range. We'd chat about how they could achieve all of their visions for their home over time and then they'd usually decide what was non-negotiable in the present.

Think back. Weren't some of the best memories you had the ones you created when something sparked your imagination and, at once, you were creating something you didn't think was possible? When my children were little, I wanted to buy new beds for them but money was an issue. My father's hobby was building things and I had many fond memories as a child of how I 'helped' him steady the wood to cut the pieces he needed to make desks, dressers, and so much more. One huge project he built for our family was a tent trailer! I talked with my father and he offered to make the trip from B.C. to Alberta with his tools to help build a desk/bed for my oldest son. I have precious memories of my son and I working with him on that bed!

My daughter had a bed that worked for her but my youngest son needed a raised bed for his end of the bedroom he shared with his sister. I decided to make a bed for him by myself and take a woodworking class at our local college to have access to the tools and saws I didn't own. I designed the bed and carefully measured each piece, cut them out and then assembled them. I sanded, stained the bed a light blue, then put layers of satin varnish on top. At the end of the 3-month class, my youngest son had his bed. I had a wonderful experience building it and such a sense of pride for the work I'd done. My youngest son enjoyed that bed for years.

My point is that just as difficult circumstances help us grow, sometimes lack of money helps us get creative. It's a 'can do' attitude that sparks our imagination enough to think up another way to accomplish what we believe is out of reach for us financially. It's like asking ourselves how we can happen to life instead of life happening to us.

Back to my decision and that knot of anxiety in my chest about not having the money to attend a workshop. My whole body had been tingling for a month, like miniscule, effervescent bubbles were floating inside everywhere. Usually, I can feel a light tingling sensation, but this felt like the volume had been turned up. I also had strange sensations on my upper lip and my 'third eye' (chakra point between the eyebrows) was itching and buzzing on and off more frequently than it had before. I was mystified about why my body was behaving in such an unusual way.

I was still unable to make a decision about attending that workshop. Everything, except my lack of extra money was saying, "Yes, go." Usually when I need to make a major decision, I ask my soul questions but I decided to see if Marvin, the tree, wanted to enlighten me about the money conflict I felt. It was Marvin, completely bewildered by this thing called money, that opened another pathway for me. Here's what I heard:

Harrumph, followed by throaty sounds, What puzzles me is this word you keep bringing up–money? Is light necessary or food? Yes, those things I understand. The word money has no place in this decision making. Check in with your guides, and do what makes your heart sing. That is all there is, and love.

I asked my guides and they added: You put it to us that you wanted breakthroughs and experiences. (I did request that. How did I forget?) As you go along, so will your readers benefit from those experiences. … Your books will be translated into multiple languages so many can have experiences through your adventures.... This is your mission.

I was a little stunned. I'd asked for breakthroughs and experiences that would resonate with and help others. The message to me was pretty clear. When I was told about the workshop, my heart registered its excitement immediately but then my mind began its 'lack of money' chatter which led directly to not being able to make a decision and anxiety. The breakthrough? When I asked for help from Marvin and my guides and listened to their messages, my anxiety decreased enough to start exploring possibilities. That 'can do' attitude is like a muscle. The more you use it, the more it kicks in and sparks the creative process when it's needed. I found a way to attend the workshop.

I also realized there's a fine distinction between wanting and choosing. In choosing, I opened doors to creative possibilities I hadn't thought of. In choosing, I said "Yes!" to present and future growth. In choosing, I received what my body had been preparing me for. Interesting that after the workshop the tingling I'd experienced quieted down. There was a deeper sensation of what I can only describe as 'presence' in my third eye chakra area and my upper lip was 'sensitive' but the random movements had stopped.

If life isn't in living to the fullest daily, what is our life doing? There will always be opportunities in front of us to open doors to new pathways in thought, attitude and in life. There will always be choices to do or not do, but take it from Marvin and make the choice to "do what makes your heart sing" because "That is all there is, and love".