Love Your SELF, Love Your LIFE

I love this lady’s expression. I’m sure she enjoys her life no matter what’s going on. I’d like to address one common practice that can and should be accomplished with love for LIFE and SELF, but is usually done without it. It’s something we do without realizing it.

IT refers to the practice of setting self-imposed deadlines. Whether it’s organizing a summer BBQ for your large extended family, or wanting to get your yard ready for summer fun, or making plans for a trip of a lifetime, all those events require self-imposed deadlines to end up with a successful BBQ, a fun yard, or that amazing trip. Self-imposed goals with deadlines are good to have. It means you are a responsible, self-managed and motivated person which is important for any of the above. That’s how people get things done. If you have to push yourself a little, you can always take down time later to recuperate, right?

Meeting a deadline, one that we’ve chosen to do, is fine but does it honor and respect ourselves or those around us when we don’t plan well or when something unexpected happens and we’ve planned too close to the wire? I know this well. Experienced and detail-oriented people know about planning “oh crap” time or unforeseen down time. The thing is, I decided on a deadline to have my manuscript ready for editing, but didn’t account for doing all the other daily things I do, too. I think I thought I could just fit the daily stuff in between my manuscript. Halfway to my deadline I dealt with a surprise “something else” that took a couple of days. (You should have seen me driving my partner’s “fogey” scooter out of our home and down the road. I was so frustrated to have to do that! Didn’t they know I had a deadline!!!) The result? I made the self-imposed deadline, but I was tired and cranky, my house a mess, and I needed a couple of days to recuperate. I didn't care for myself, didn't exercise, and my body was sore from sitting too long. Being engaged in my book was wonderful, but I planned too close to the wire for my life as it is today.

Doesn’t sound like this deadline was accomplished with love and respect, does it. Love for SELF, then, means knowing ourselves, our weaknesses, our strengths and planning for extra time even if we don’t see anything coming down the road. Love for SELF means spending dedicated time with the people you love. This means connecting with our loved ones while our projects and deadlines are put on hold and cell phones placed out of reach.

There are seasons of activity and rhythms to life that weave in and out of the thing we call time. Pushing yourself is a construct of your own sense of urgency and of reaching your goals so you can love your SELF, love your LIFE more through doing the things we push ourselves to do. Is there anything wrong with that? I don't think the lady in the photo pushes herself like that.

Let’s back up and see if we can unpack a little. When you think about it, pushing oneself toward a self-imposed deadline is a different lifestyle from one that is conscious, aware, and mindful. I think our lives are rushed and downright frantic sometimes and then we push ourselves to cram one more thing into the day. The pace at which we do things is increasingly faster with new gadgets to help, think Roomba and Alexa, meals driven to our doors ready to eat, more social media to digest and distract, more ads everywhere that encourage us to run right out and buy. Don’t you just want to step off the speeding train for a minute?!

Stepping off the train, perhaps we need to take time to ponder where we’re going. Love for SELF means I can stand up for “me” in a way that is both loving to myself and clear to others. Love for SELF means I respect myself enough to disagree with others in a way that is both respectful to my beliefs and also to theirs. Love for SELF means practicing how to love and respect myself and others in the middle of SELF-imposed deadlines, painful discussions or animated disagreements. Love for SELF means that I need to be aligned and authentic because that’s HOW I do ME and WHEN I do ME, my purpose and passion is ignited and my mission on earth is clear. BOOM!

That’s where I see loving your SELF is going.

In the framework of a day, we can try, like we try to have healthy habits, to maintain our consciousness, awareness and mindfulness OR consider making consciousness, awareness and mindfulness the actual framework through which we live each day. What might a day and a life like that look like? It would take some contemplation and inspiration. It might take deconstructing how we live and reconstructing new patterns. It could involve more time spent with food, eating and digesting, perhaps catching up with family members or friends.

I know life is busy and we have our careers and families to juggle daily. I did that, too. I envision more walking in the ocean or down a forest path with a Greet the Day meditation, or in the evening with a Thankfulness Benediction for the gifts of that day. Maybe it's taking time for a coffee on the deck to regroup. I envision juggling our schedules mindfully and choosing soul-focused goals and projects that contribute to loving my SELF and loving my LIFE. And perhaps like the lady in the picture, I envision time for unabashed joy.

That’s where I see loving your LIFE is going.