Joy's the Thing

Today, after my walk I was ruminating about why monetary riches had eluded me despite my hard work ethic and opportunities and why did my brain get chaotic as I searched for answers. "If I only..." was the mantra running through my head as the familiar knot of frustration registered in my heart . In the middle of that frustrating knot, a thought appeared,

"Do the things that bring you joy."

Immediately, the knot eased and that mantra, "If I only..." jumped its tracks. My brain loves to co-opt my thoughts constantly thinking it knows where I'm headed all the time. It doesn't and just like that I chose to think of all the things that brought me joy.

Before this I'd been struggling to figure out which travel option to choose for our next trip, likely to San Antonio again, so I could start a workable budget. I'd been applying the "If I only..." thinking for all the options. What if I applied this new mantra of doing the thing that brought joy to all those options?

Flying was the cheapest way and I thought it would be the best option with some tweaking. I really didn't enjoy the verbal jockeying with flight attendants and ticket crews to secure a row of seats for us, if possible. Due to pain in his knees and legs, my partner's mobility was greatly reduced making it hard for him to stand up and move to the aisle if a passenger in the window seat needed access to the aisle. Imagine explaining that over and over again after thinking the eight-page report our doctor filled out and submitted to the airlines was supposed to have communicated a need for special seating. Interesting how it was a wasted exercise on all the Canadian flights. American airlines were much more accommodating and respectful by far. The flying option brought us headaches, not joy.

I'd investigated train travel but it was quadruple the cost of flying because the 'handicapped' roomettes were the only ones that had bathroom facilities included. We could have booked any other type of seat for less but all the bathrooms were apparently up some stairs and out of reach for anyone with mobility and balance issues. Anyway, the motion of the train and the washroom situation were not workable over the five days it would take to travel from Vancouver Island to San Antonio, Texas. This option, while sounding like it might be fun, didn't bring us joy, either.

I'd just about discounted the last option believing I had to settle for flying. This option seemed more like a dream, than an option. As my book was nearing publication, I thought combining a camper van trip with a book tour would be wonderful. It would take care of transportation, the washroom dilemma and wouldn't require special seating or accommodation. The only negatives were we didn't have a camper van and would I actually enjoy doing all the driving? Back around I went right into that dense knot of frustration again. "If I only …." as I started thinking of all the things I'd done and opportunities I'd missed to make enough money to buy a camper van. That was regret, and definitely a joy killer.

Although I'd run this scenario many times in my head, I'd always stopped at the fact that a camper van was out of our financial reach. This time, though, I ran the scenario without the financial filter (Eek! another filter?) and began to feel joy streaming into my heart. We'd always wanted to take a house on wheels and go travelling. I'd even spoken with a publisher about this dream but she told me all the difficulties authors have in setting up visits to bookstores and libraries--publicity, timing, book sales and distribution to the stores, etc. She said don't do it; you won't sell anything. She didn't know the thing about joy.

When I thought of traveling in the camper van and visiting places to share my book, I was filled with joy. I wasn't filled with how to make a living selling my books or even off-setting our gas budget with book sales. I was filled with the joy of meeting people who recognized themselves in my book. Joy in sharing our stories. Joy and misting eyes in connecting with those who'd wandered into their favourite book store that day and couldn't believe they found someone else who struggled with the same things.

But could I handle all that driving? It was amazing how taking the financial filter out of my thoughts also made room for quiet moments with my partner in front of a fire pit watching the flames flicker and dance. The book tours were planned so we didn't have to drive ten hours a day to accommodate a busy schedule. There was time to be together, to enjoy life, to marvel at all we saw along the way. In the morning there were cups of strong dark roast coffees to hold as we woke up and pondered what that day would bring. We sat together being awake, living, and loving the sound of our easy morning conversation and laughter.

That's when joy's the thing. We don't know what the future will bring, but I do know that our connections with each other are rich and our time finite. I also know that one person who's touched by the words in the book or the words I speak and then embarks on their own exploration will touch others. Who knows what those connections might bring into our world in real time, but that's why joy's the thing. Joy puts our brains into a different neural pathway instantly. Joy expresses spontaneous fullness, richness and gratefulness. Joy's the thing for life lovers.