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I Always Imagined myself living...


The headline for this blog is a partial quote by designer Jonas Bjerr-Poulsen from the magazine, Livingetc (photo #1). The designer of photo #4 above is Eva Sonaike and her article is titled, "Welcome to the comfort zone".



Seeing these two designers express their design aesthetic inspired me to write about the origins of carlssen.com, my new business, as a writer and soon to be, author. The more I thought about what elements they loved to work with, the more I thought about my creative past as a classical musician, photographer, and home stager. I also thought about being a Mom and my years as a Family Daycare Provider. What was I bringing to this new business?


Naturally, we bring parts of ourselves to any business. That’s how we know where we excel and where we need assistance. We bring our past, our idiosyncrasies, our habits, our opinions and biases, our voice, our heart. How many of us think about bringing our souls? I know I wouldn’t have thought about that 10 years ago.

There are some parts I’d definitely not want to bring forward with me such as my attitude toward money. One is either spiritual or rich, but not both, right? Interesting that I could easily see myself as spiritual because I was born into a preacher’s family, had gone through a dramatic religious conversion in my early 20’s and was married to a preacher. Some religious people believed it was a God-given right to be rich but I couldn't see myself rich at all. Did I need to be wealthy? How do I define rich and wealthy? What would I do to get riches and wealth and would I like myself in the process. I talk about that journey in the post coming up on Insight and Integral Pauses.


Hmmm… I was starting to see that the question I needed to ask was more like WHO am I bringing to this new business.


Photo #2 was from a vision board I made in 1996 to inspire my future self when I bought my first home as a single parent with 3 young children. Its title was, "Welcome to the most comfortable place on earth." My life had definitely not been comfortable for a while.


An eye for design elements and composition were refined by working, watching and learning with local designer Judith Moore of Anything Goes. My past also had roots in a photography hobby that began around 1965 with an old Brownie camera. Later, in my mid-20’s I purchased a Rollei 35mm for a trip to Europe. Staging homes required a Canon digital camera with a wide angle lens and a sharp eye for balance and focal points.


I scoured many design publications for Dress This House Staging to study current home design trends. My focus shifted to architecture and how inside and outside space functioned as I staged and sold homes for clients as a realtor through Homes & East Real Estate Group.


My compulsion for design was so strong that I spent precious downtime collecting pictures of anything that made my heart jump. I also felt compelled to create something that was calling me, something that felt like I was home. From those clippings I decided to create a series of Montages that captured what I saw as the pathway home. Photo #3, above, is called "Mindsight":

Compelled to shift-- MINDSIGHT

"I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

An exuberant figure dances outside in the courtyard– The artists start...

I was working with real estate clients around that time who were Reiki Masters. I was curious about Reiki, specifically, if it would be good for my real estate business. They nodded and wisely said just one word, “Yes” and what a weighty “yes” it was. I had no idea, at the time, what I was asking and how much I would grow and change. Another kind of spiritual journey had begun, one that would lead me to become a Reiki Master and a Theta Healer.


I’m still drawn to design magazines so when I opened the Livingetc magazine early in 2023 and saw Eva Sonaike’s article and design titled "Welcome to the comfort zone", (photo #4) I instantly recalled the clipping from my vision board, “Welcome to the most comfortable place on earth”. (Photo #2) I knew I had to write something about that serendipitous coincidence that seemed to bridge my search for “the most comfortable place on earth” back then, to the “comfort zone” I saw in the article today. Have I changed? Indeed I have.

The first book I wrote describes details and struggles about what changed, what I learned, and the transition that took place as struggle led to transformation. I expect to publish it early in 2024.

We all know that struggle is not very comfortable nor does it feel welcome while going through it. However, if I could paint a picture for you of what those struggles came to mean to me, I’d paint a really beautiful scene but when you look at it, one part doesn’t look finished. I believe we are all hardwired to complete our life pictures. The process in our lives to restore the last part in a picture usually starts with a struggle, followed by an integrating pause and finally a moment of clarity. You know what you, i.e., the picture needs. It’s kind of like designing. You can see an element is missing from the room (the unfinished part or the struggle). I usually left the room, then returned to look at it with fresh eyes (integrating pause). Every time, I knew exactly what the room needed to pull it together. (moment of clarity). That one vital element, that one crucial part transformed the picture or space, making it tug at my heartstrings. That’s what struggle does when you unpack the gift inside..

Says Eva Sonaike, the overall goal for her look was, "...achieving 'a restful and welcoming space…'." Back in 1996, I struggled to find and achieve that kind of space and feel that way. I thought good design and a comfortable home to live in would achieve that, but like the unfinished picture and the missing element, the transformation was not yet complete.

Today, I write about a space that's welcoming, nurturing and uniquely mine. To my surprise, it wasn’t something I could paint, design or achieve. It was a profound transformation from the inside out, a space I felt deeply connected with. I found the missing element, my ‘home’ inside and called it soul space.

So who am I bringing to this business? The one vital part that transformed me, my soul, my inner genius. It was exactly what I’d been searching for and my heart leapt with the impact of that beautiful, finished painting.

That euphoria was short-lived, however, as I was suddenly and profoundly aware that there were many more life paintings ahead waiting to be at once, finished and beautiful.


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