Another Way to Learn

Last week's blog, Two Ways to Learn, explored what I learned from different types of pain. If you're so inspired, click on the title to read that one before you dive into this one. There are infinite ways to learn, but this post is about the transformative lessons I learned through "ah-ha" moments. It is based, again, on Michael Bernard Beckwith's ideas as written by Vishen Lakhiani on the Mindvalley Blog, Pulse.

A word about "ah-ha" moments. To me, they are the moments when something I'm thinking and seeing crash into each other to form a completely new concept, and that concept engages my heart. It changes me. One of the most powerful learning moments began with a simple observation on an ordinary day. Here's the excerpt from my journal:

We were going to pick up supplies from another store before driving to my son's workplace. I parked the car and was waiting when I saw an elderly couple. Instantly, derision and superiority flooded my thoughts as I critiqued their driving abilities. (I fit into the elderly category so felt entitled to use the term.)

I watched as the car slowly did its turtle speed turning project into the parking space, remembering in a detached way how that kind of driving usually infuriated me. Strangely, I felt no anger today. I watched as the car on the other side of them waited patiently, making room for their turn. In that moment, I became acutely aware I felt derision and superiority, and I was horrified!

My heart broke, and I wept for that couple, not because they were slow or older, but for their humanness. I wept for my callousness and wept for humanity. I felt compassion in waves deeper than I’d ever felt before. My heart opened as I watched them slowly get back into their car, make the same U-turn at the same speed, and slowly drive away. It was like time itself had them in its clutches, and I felt moved to tears. (Journal Entry—January 5, 2023)

In that instant, I embodied the virtue of compassion like I'd never felt compassion before. It pierced my heart and changed me without warning. That “ah-ha” moment had an unforeseen impact on my perception of others; so, what was the lesson? My ego learned to take a breath and let my heart take the lead. I learned I could exist in a moment of suspended time with another human, and experience transformation. It taught me that compassion with another human or living thing was a powerful state capable of deep healing for both of us.

Another "ah-ha" moment occurred in response to sudden dizziness. I was literally sitting with my husband, talking and enjoying our evening, when it happened. That kind of dizziness was unusual. It usually meant I was sick and about to heave my stomach contents, but this dizziness had no such follow-up. It was powerful, but disappeared in about three seconds. What was going on?

 About this time, I was working on my second book and something odd kept happening. Chapter titles kept popping into my head at random times. The latest title to pop into my head was "Opening More Doors". In my first book, doors opening were huge events. Stranger still, subsequent events seemed to follow the chapter title, as if the title and the experience were linked. About a month after I wrote the "Opening More Doors" title, I began dreaming of wonderful times travelling with my husband to bookstores across the country.

Then I recalled some advice an author/publisher gave me on book tours. "Don't do it", she said. "It's a nightmare of logistics, marketing and timing. Not worth it. You won't make any money." Hearing her remarks in my head left me deflated, once more, even though I knew she was giving me her lived experience and wisdom with obvious care and concern. In this deflated state, I began questioning my reason for writing, my motivations, and what success as a writer looked like to me. Writers are well known for their insecure reflections of themselves and their work.

Thinking about the book tour and the vivid dreams I enjoyed, I realized I was complicating it. (Those who know me, know well my penchant for complicating everything!) My dreams about the book tour were not really about the book. The dream vignettes portrayed my partner and me sharing quiet moments of contentment around a campfire, watching the hypnotic flames lick, crackle, and snap at the burning logs. Watching my partner lost in thought, warmed my heart. He was the handsome, beautiful soul I fell in love with years ago. My heart swelled with heightened contentment, happiness, serenity, peace, and love. Suddenly, I was in another place where time stood still.

That's when the "Ah-ha" moment struck me. It wasn't about the book at all, it was about people. The people I expect to meet on my book tour, or who pick up my book at a library, or randomly scroll the internet and land in the book section of my website. Those people feel energetically drawn to it. I could feel that thought move into my heart as I watched the doors open. Beyond the threshold, the opened door offered glimpses into a world of more doors where I was travelling, and the promise of future adventures and synchronicities were set in motion.

Shortly after that "ah-ha' moment, I "happened" to find another book and read:

“Your contribution is uniquely yours. It fits who you are, your special interests and gifts. It is not a fixed assignment that would be passed on to someone else in case you did not want it. It has too much of your energy mark on it for that. And that is how it should be. Every soul has its own specific gift to give to this world, in accordance with its interests, capabilities, and energy. What attracts your audience is the energy of your soul...”

What did I learn? I learned success for me is the extraordinary conversations and moments with people when time stands still. As I saw my book drawing people together like ripples of energy circling outward, I learned I had found my unique place as one of the planet's billion ripple makers.